The boy who cried "Woof!"

So we have two dogs, Charlie and Roger.  Roger is the relatively quiet one.  He only barks when normal dogs would...when someone actually comes in our yard, or if he sees someone he doesn't like walking by.  However, he does NOT bark every time someone walks by like Charlie, the Gossipy Dachshund.

Charlie has a huge personality, some would say.  Recently, though, I've figured out that he's a total gossip.  I mean, he's a one-dog rumor mill.  And I'm tired of it.  If our neighbor has someone walk up to her front door he turns to me and "ROO-roo-Roof!" His barks have an unusual intonation and I can clearly understand that he's saying, "what does that man think he's doing in her yard?"  and "what the heck are kids wearing these days?"  "Doesn't he have anything better to do with his time."  He wants to tell me all about what he saw, and any neighbors that are out in the yard.  I hate to think what impression it's making on sweet Roger. 

Charlie is a grumpy old man sitting on his front porch in a rocking chair.  Each "woof" just reeks of disdain and judgment.  Most times his rants finish with a grouchy huff as he turns to walk back toward his perch on our front steps.  Bah-humbug, Charlie.

Eventually I'm going cease paying any attention to him...even when he has something truly valuable to say.